My ex-girlfriend is coming to town. Is it alright if I see her even though I am in another relationship? Should I tell my new girlfriend about it? Help!

Jeremy in Kansas City, MO

Dear Jeremy,

Of course, it's okay if you see your ex-girlfriend. In fact, go ahead and do whatever you want with her because it's not cheating if it's with an ex. Remember my rules to cheating. It's not cheating if...

1) You're doing something physically with the new girl that your girlfriend won't provide.

2) It's with a non-civilian (e.g., hooker, stripper, etc).

3) You're hooking up with an ex-girlfriend (or any girl you previously dated for that matter).

4) Your girlfriend won't ever find out.

5) She's hot.

You see? Exemption number 3 absolves you of any guilt if you were to hook up with your ex. Like reserving a tennis court or standing in the checkout line at the grocery store, there is something to be said about first-come-first-served etiquette. Your ex was there first and deserves the right to hook up with you above any future girlfriends.

Besides, if you've hooked up with your ex 156 times, should it matter to your current girlfriend if you've been with your ex 156, or let's say 157 times? On a percentage basis that is less than one half of one percent more times. This difference is what scientists call aberrant data which means it's too small to be counted. Therefore, even if you hooked up with the ex one more time, this extra time should be thrown out of your data pool.

Hey, I am not one to dispute science and neither should you. But just in case you think your current girlfriend might be wary of this explanation, you should remember cheating exemption number 4: "It's not cheating if your girlfriend won't ever find out."

Your Pal,

Bradley