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November 2007
Dear Bradley,
My boyfriend talks about "us" getting married. Not "what if", but "when". He's dead set on me meeting his parents, and on meeting mine. I told him that i don't want to meet his parents. A) because I don't get along with parents too well and, B) I don't want him to meet my parents because I HATE my mother. I'm ashamed of her...I don't even think I love her anymore. He knows all this and all he can say is that his parents are cool and that I'll like them. As for my family, he says that he'll meet them sooner or later. I told him he'd be lucky if I let him meet my dad and his girlfriend. I told him that it's not that I don't trust him with them, it's just that I want to be with him and not have to meet each other's parents. It really scares me. What should I do?
Also, he talks about me having his children, which, if I weren't so petrified of doctors, I'd consider it. He just says that he's the guy and if he wants me pregnant that it'll happen. I told him that I'm the one who has to carry it, so if I ever found out that I was pregnant and I didn't want it, I'd have an abortion, and that way he'd never even know I was pregnant in the first place. He got quiet and then he said quietly, "wow...that hit me below the belt." I go, "well, don't threaten me. It won't work. I'll just do the opposite." I told him that I wanted to adopt, he doesn't want to. He wants more boys, I want more girls. He wants five kids, I want four (two sets of twins: three girls and one boy.) He said that he doesn't think he can handle twins let alone two sets of twins....
I don't mind him wanting to marry me, or me to be the one to have his kids... but i just know in my heart that I won't marry him and that he's not "the one". What should I do? I think he's planning on proposing soon.
Thanks for letting me know.
Kacy in Tulsa, OK.
Dear Kacy,
All I can say is you must be very hot! This guy is absolutely obsessed with you. I'm thinking you look a little bit like a mix between old school Britney Spears and Jessica Alba (with a splash of Natalie Portman thrown in). If the poor guy wants to show you off to his parents, would it kill you to throw him a bone? Clearly, his parents were nervous that he was such a loser he'd never meet a girl. So can you blame the guy if he wants to parade you around? And go ahead and introduce him to your parents, too. Relax! You can't be blamed for your parents. Your boyfriend will think you are ashamed of him and this will only create more tension in your relationship.
As for kids, I can't fault your boyfriend for demanding sons. What are you supposed to do with a girl? Play house? Have tea parties? Dress her up in pink leotards? Ugh...kill me now! Compare that to what you can do with a boy. Play catch. Go to baseball games. Take him fishing and hunting. There is no comparison. Boys are a million times more fun than girls.
Here is what I suggest: When he proposes to you, say yes. Then you get your first marriage out of the way. A first marriage is like making pancakes: you should be able to throw your first one away. Once you are married you will see the light and realize that you want sons, not daughters. Three sons and a daughter (so the sons can date the daughter's friends) sounds reasonable to me.
Good luck and please let me know if I can be of any more assistance.
Your pal,
Bradley
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12 Comments:
I want too meet this girl too!
Hey, Bradley; can I ask you a question?
WHERE THE HECK DO YOU COME UP WITH THESE ANSWERS?!
Ever heard of a TOMBOY? There are plenty of girls who want to play baseball/softball, hunt, and are more obsessed with sports and cars than any guy will ever be! In fact, many not only DESPISE the color pink, leotards, tea parties, and all that girly crud, but are interested in being a bit more boyish, a LOT more boyish.
Do your research before making sweeping generalizations, otherwise, you just look as if you pulled these statements right out of your butt (which you probably did).
Wow that Girl that made a comment about Tomboys...must really be ugly...
Truly she is mistaken...Girls only like Football cause the guy they're dating watches it every Sunday...I swear I go to Baseball games for a little Thirsty Thursday...and the Guys are there for the cheap Beer and the girls are there to hit on the guys who like the cheap beer.
I'm a tomboy. Love soccer. Played it for years. Guys are all over me. Tomboys can be hot.
Fuck yeah! tomboyish girls can be hot... remember Kiera Knightly in Domino???... Cmon!!! all dudes are still having wet dreams about her... really whats more hot than a hottie, who is your girlfriend, likes to play football, soccer, and baseball...loves to spend NFL sundays with you...and fights you cause she's with the other team (my case, im Patriots, she's Colts)...besides she's a beast in the bed...
Wow, this entire website is sided towards guys, and not in the sincere way.
Ever heard of compromise?
A couple sports here, a little romance there, and not just for sex (although not without either:)!)
My Gosh! I totally agree w/ the tomboy. Girls can play sports just as well as boys! I'm a girl and I'm the fastest runner in the grade.
To the tomboy girl (2nd comment):
I just want you to understand that you have a friend in me and as such I would like to help you. I've noticed that you are extremely aggressive in situations that do not call for it. You need to work on that and here is my advice (remember, it is purely therapeutical):
Get laid! :D
TOMBOYS RULE!!! I'm a tomboy, i play with guys, and out of them all I'm the strongest, tallest and the fastest!
pink leotards..tea parties... house...ugh. kill ME now. by the way, i am a girl with no desire to get 'laid', nor would i have a desire to stay with such a boy. dearie, if you read this, DROP THE DUDE LIKE YOU WOULD DROP A DEAD BIRD, FOR LORD'S SAKE!!!
This girl is clearly schizo. Early in the letter she says she wants NO kids, then she says she wants FOUR kids. Besides that, if she KNOWS he's NOT the one, she should break up with him and move on. Actually, they should break up mutually since they have no common ground. They are not married and have no kids, so they are free to RUN FORREST RUN!!!
OK, I am re-reading this. She says he's not the one, she doesn't want HIS kids, but she wants to ADOPT 4 or 5 (and he does not want to adopt). But this makes my case stand even more: What the hell are they even doing with each other? If what she said is 100% true, her boyfriend is a complete a$$h0le.
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